page 206 - Long Walk Original Manuscript [LWOM_206.jpg]

such an incident would be taken more seriously than I meant it to be. Some thought it was an ambulance bringing tragic news, others feared that it was the police coming to investigate some offence I probably committed in Johannesburg. Nevertheless they were all relieved and happy to know that the noise was an announcement that I was back.

Being together with my mother in her home filled me with boyish excitement. At the same time I could not avoid a sense of guilt as my mother was living all alone and 22 miles from the nearest doctor. My sisters and I were each living on their own. Despite the fact that her children tried in their own way to render her financially comfortable, she chose to live an auster life and saving what one child gove her to distribute to any of her other children who happened to be in need. On previous occasions I endeavoured to persuade her to come and live with me in Johannesburg, but she could never face the wrench of leaving the countryside where she had lived all her life.

I have often wondered whether a person is justified in neglecting his own family to fight for opportunities for others. Can there be anything more important than looking after your mother approaching the age of 60, building her a dream house, giving her good food, nice clothing and all one's love? Is politics in such cases not a mer excuse to shirk one's responsibilities? It is not easy to live with a conscience that raises such questions from time to time. Often I am able to persuade myself that I have done my best at all times to bring a measure of ease and comfort into my mother's life. Even when at times I am plagued with an uneasy conscience I have to acknowledge that my whole hearted commitmentto the liberation of our people gives meaning to life and yields